5 Tips For Creating Boundaries During Visitation
One of the hardest things about letting her live with her other family is the lack of influence I feel that I have on her life.
She is learning, growing, developing habits, and cultivating her unique personality without me.
She lives with a different set of rules and standards at their house and we don’t co-parent very well on a lot of those issues. (We honestly don’t co-parent very well at all.)
She is learning to make decisions that will impact her life and I want to be there to help guide her.
It’s hard to reinforce positive behaviors when I only have her for such a short amount of time.
When we are together, I notice so many little reminders that she’s not all mine. What she chooses to wear, the music she likes to listen to, the coffee she wants to drink… I have such a hard time allowing her to express her personality within temporary boundaries that don’t exist when I’m gone.
But I’ve learned the importance of consistent behavior and I wanted to share how we make it work!
Here are our Top 5 Tips for Creating Boundaries During Visitation:
- Set non-negotiable expectations: establish a set of rules and consequences/rewards for their actions.
- Choose your battles wisely and don’t sweat the small stuff: allow them to have enough freedom to make their own decisions on small matters. Let them gain your trust and gradually give them more responsibility.
- Remember that children are impressionable so lead by example: make sure to be the parent you want them to look up to!
- Explain why the rule is important: all of our choices have consequences and they will learn much quicker when they understand the reason each rule exists.
- Enforce their positive and negative behavior consistently: when children know what to expect, they are much more likely to comply with an expectation willingly. Set that standard and stick to it!