She's Still So Close

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I don’t know what to do now. I’ve been holding back tears all day because I knew what was coming.

She’s gone.

The first few days are the hardest. It still feels like she’s here. Her dirty clothes are fresh and her toothbrush is still out. Her dunkin donuts bag is on the counter and I’m still wearing the shirt she hugged when we said goodbye. She’s still so close.

But somehow it happens, every single time. Life begins to feel normal again without her. Our trip becomes a memory and I’ll go back to counting the days until I see her again. The process is unforgiving and I wish there was another way.

This part of my heart will always be vulnerable. But even the hardest moments without her will always be worth it because I choose her no matter what.