This is about her


I get asked all the time…

How did you do it? Why did you let her decide?

and the only real answer that I have is that I’ve always had enough faith to trust my spiritual promptings. It doesn’t make sense legally or logically but I know without a doubt that it’s exactly where she needs to be.

But I’ve learned a lot from our experience and I want to share some advice with you…


Think of her as her own person- someone who is strong and resilient and writing her own story. Even though I want what’s best for her, I can’t control every scenario. She has been placed in a situation where she will make her own decisions and go through unique trials as part of her journey. It’s the hardest thing to do as a parent- to watch your child learn and grow and make mistakes without stepping in to intervene. Because sometimes experience is the best education. And there are lessons our children need to learn in their own way at their own time.

This isn’t about you. Or what you want. Or what you think is best. This is about her.


Give her the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them.

Give her the space to discover who she is as a person.

Give her time to decide what she wants without any expectations.

Give her support and love instead of criticism and judgment.

Give her everything you needed and more. Be the person she looks to as an example of unconditional love and always be there for her no matter what.

Ashley Hansen