struggling with guilt

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The thing I struggle with most is the guilt. This was my choice. It was my decision to let her live with her dad. And even though I know without a doubt that she is supposed to be there right now, there are times when I want to take it all back. 

I want to be the one picking her up from school each day. I want to sit across the dinner table from her every night. I want to help her with her homework. I want to hear all about her day. I want to tuck her into bed. 

I want to do all the little things that I used to take for granted. I miss her every single day. 

I know it’s harder for me than it is for her. She is so happy and that’s what matters the most. It’s not about me or what I want- it’s all about her. If she’s happy, I’m happy 💛

Ashley Hansen